Remember when you were a kid, that feeling on Christmas day when you realized there were no more presents to open? Do you remember that feeling? I ask because that feeling is a lot like post-nuptial depression, affectionately known as the “post-wedding blues.” Many brides get so wrapped up in the wedding planning process that a big letdown happens when it’s all done. Luckily, with just a little bit of effort, it is possible to conquer this condition.
The post-wedding blues seems to be more common now than in the past, mainly because the economy has forced a lot of financial belt-tightening, which in turn has forced more brides into the DIY realm. While doing things yourself is great, there is a danger that the whole process could become an obsession. Simply put, the result is a singular focus on one goal – to have a fabulous wedding – and after the wedding there is no more goal to work toward.
When faced with post-nuptial depression, it’s hard to get motivated because there is no sense of focus. Many women describe it as the feeling you get when losing a family member. The wedding becomes such an important part of life and then BAM – it’s gone. What’s left is a huge void.
The best way to conquer the post wedding blues is to fill this void with something else. Make new plans that both of you can work toward together. For example, starting an investment portfolio, redoing the landscaping, upgrading to a new home, or planning a vacation are some things that could be used in this capacity. Alternatively, you could start small by making daily goals. There is definitely something to be said for taking it one day at a time when you’re recovering from any form of depression.
In the final analysis, post-nuptial depression is a common condition, and it’s getting even more common now with the onset of the new wave of DIY brides. But the good news is that there are some precautions you can take beforehand, and some recovery steps you can take afterward, to help ward it off.
Yes we all want a beautiful wedding, but always remember that it’s just one day. What really matters is the marriage, not the wedding, so try not to become obsessed with perfection. And after it’s over, make some new goals, forget about wedding planning, and start planning your life together. Good luck!
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