Wedding preparations are always exciting and the bridal shower is one of the biggest highlights of the weeks leading up to the big day. Your role in this event or party will be your first as official mother of the groom. Your role may be as simple as being present or giving a gift, or as vital as being the host! However deep your participation is, remember to enjoy the moment and celebrate the couple – this is a happy time that the family can look back to years from now.
Let’s Talk About the Basics
Attending your daughter- in- law- to- be’s bridal shower is a public show of your blessing and support for your son and his bride. The ladies who will be in attendance will likely also be at the wedding, hence it is important to stay classy and remember your etiquette at the party. Take note of these pointers:
- Send your RSVP on time. In case you will not be able to attend, clearly explain to the bride (and your son) why. Call them and explain the situation. Even though the reason or circumstance may seem obvious to you, you want to avoid any miscommunication at a time when the bride and groom are the busiest.
- Be on time. In fact, arrive 20 to 30 minutes early so you can help with last minute preparations and be there to greet the other guests as they arrive. Even if you are not the host, your presence is important and it will be greatly appreciated by the bride, groom and the guests. This is also the perfect time to meet other people in your new daughter- in- law’s life and those that you will see again at the wedding.
- Dress appropriately. Dress as modestly as you would for the wedding. Be sure to ask the host if there is a requirement based on the theme or a dress code at the venue.
- Bring a gift in accordance with the party’s theme or requirements. Do not make a grandstand by bringing a very lavish or extravagant gift. Save that heirloom jewelry from your great grandmother during a private moment with your son and his bride. Check with the host if you need to bring a certain type of present, or even a specific color.
- Be ready to answer questions about the bride and groom: how well you know them and their life together, give anecdotes or even share marriage advice. Try and sensor the information that you will share. Do not embarrass anyone with stories that you will share, and try to contain how colorful the stories that you will share are. Remember that the attendees may not just be people that are intimately related to the couple. Their colleagues, bosses, clients, etc may also be there and they surely want to keep their professional front with these people.
Can You Host the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, there is only one bridal shower which is hosted by the bridesmaids. It was considered bad etiquette for family members to host the shower because it seemed like the couple is asking for gifts.
However, lifestyles and trends have evolved over the decades. Today, the couple’s families are a lot more involved in these celebrations leading up to the big day. There can also be multiple bridal or wedding showers. For example, the bride’s colleagues can organize their own bridal shower, apart from the one hosted by the bridesmaids or maid of honor. The family can also throw a wedding shower especially if the couple will be having a destination wedding, or the big day will take place somewhere else so that relatives who may not be able to attend the wedding can still celebrate with them.
If you want to host the bridal shower, be sure to ask your daughter- in- law first and involve her in the planning to make sure she agrees on the party details (i.e. the color scheme is not her most hated color). You can even seek the help of the mother of the bride and other female relatives and plan the part together. Involve your son too, by asking for suggestions or what party surprise he thinks the bride will really appreciate. Whether you are hosting or coming as a guest, remember that this is a great (and fun) opportunity for you to bond with the bride and other important women in her life.
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