The very simple and easy answer to this is YES! The grandmother of the bride and groom should be invited to the bridal shower. And if health, proximity or other factors will allow, the grandmother should attend.
The purpose behind having a bridal shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts that will help her in her new life, and with love and support during a very important moment in her life. The bridal shower is an intimate affair, and those who should be invited are:
- the bride’s maid of honor and maids
- the bride’s close friends
- relatives of the bride and groom such as the mothers, grandmothers, aunts and cousins.
As a rule of thumb, do not invite anyone to the bridal shower if they are not invited to the wedding. This is considered rude in most circumstances.
Can the grandmother host the bridal shower?
Technically, and especially back in the day, etiquette would dictate against the grandmother (or the mother) throwing the bridal shower. But things have definitely changed, and this can be very appropriate – but depending on the situation.
In the past, the bride typically still lived with her parents before the wedding. Hence it wasn’t deemed proper for the family to throw the bridal shower. Some people viewed this as the family “begging” for presents for the bride. Today, though, the cultures ad trends have changed greatly. Many mothers and grandmothers even volunteer to host the bridal shower – or more precisely, ‘a’ bridal shower.
As many couples are opting to do destination weddings, or simply getting married in places other than home, the female relatives don’t get to attend the bridal shower that the bride’s friends or maids will host. This is only one example of where it will be appropriate for the mother or grandmother of either the bride or groom to host a bridal shower (or even a wedding shower for the couple).
Before you start planning that party…
While this may be unconventional for some, but it is a completely acceptable practice today. However, before you start the party planning, ask the bride and groom first and make sure that this set up works for them. More likely than not, there will be other showers to be hosted by other wedding guests, so make sure that the bride (and groom) is okay with you throwing a separate shower. Also get their opinion on who to invite to the party, and whether the party should be exclusive to family members only.
What to wear
If there are several bridal showers, the mother and grandmother should choose to attend the one with the most family or relatives invited. Here are some tips on what grandma should wear to this important party:
- Let the bride wear white. If you can, avoid creams or off whites as well. Let your granddaughter have the limelight.
- Steer clear of red too. While it may seem like asking too much, red is a very loud and bold color, almost screaming “look at me”. Many also consider it vulgar and associate it with adultery. Definitely not the message you want to bring with you on your granddaughters bridal shower.
- Choose pretty colors, or something that will connect you with the theme (without going too far). For example, if you’re having a tea party or a summer themed event, choose a tea length floral dress in shades of pastel.
- Go classy with your style. Don’t show too much skin, choose a skirt or dress of proper length and use a cardigan if your dress is showing a bit too much.
- Wear comfortable shoes. You will be up and about mingling with other guests and perhaps even helping with some of the preparations, so you want to be completely comfortable.
This is a happy time for the couple and your entire family, and surely, everyone is just as excited as you are. Remember though that the celebration is centered on the couple, so whether you’re attending or hosting the bridal shower — or if you won’t be able to attend — communicate clearly with the bride and groom to avoid miscommunication during a time when they are under a big amount of stress.
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